I sit at my keyboard smiling. I’m smiling for the silliest reason. I’ve learned that I am a seriously emotion-based writer. When I’m sad, I write, when I’m in love, I write, when I feel lonely, I write…you get the picture. I’m smiling because I’m at a loss as to what to write. I’m not in love, I’m not sad, I’m not angsty, I’m not pining for a man I can’t have, I’m just, well, here. I find that amusing; a slight relief actually.
I keep trying to date; I’m not very good at it. Something about my lack of patience seems to keep my tolerance levels at an all-time low. And I’m actually fine with that. It means I haven’t rushed into anything stupid (can’t say that’s always been the case, I have a tendency to jump right in head first). My head is clear, my heart is far from closed off, but I’m just kind of existing in my own world without feeling the need to include a man in it right now.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have a short list of men I’m interested in. One is showing some serious potential…nothing like a man having the face of an angelic little boy, but lots of tattoos and a self-professed bad-boy…oh yeah, and the fact that he sounds
like Gerard Butler hasn’t been lost on me. Yes, that means he’s Scottish
(insert growl here). There was a very pretty Englishman, who even wore a kilt,
but I got a tad tired of the blowing hot and cold, so he’s dropped further down
the list. And of course we have a few of the “normal” ones who make me laugh.
By “normal”, I mean they live near me. Good for a night out. Dinner and drinks
aren’t all bad. Then there’s the 32 year old body-builder who claims to “like
older women”…he’s good for the ego, but I’m afraid I don’t make a very
convincing Cougar, so he’s not really a viable option. Yeah, I like my life
right now (insert cheesy grin).
So, if the world ends tomorrow (not that I expect it to, I have to work…sure sign that’s exactly what I’ll be doing), I can honestly say that I have no regrets; I’ve lived my life and made my own choices. Some choices weren’t always well thought out, but that’s just me and I wouldn’t change a single thing. I have some of the best friends a girl could have, I love my family and I’m open to whatever life has in store for me. I’m actually looking forward to it. I feel some new experiences and adventure are in my future and I can’t wait! I may even have to start making my own “vlog”, like Tessa has…because lord knows I have no shame (see one of her videos below for an example of THAT). Maybe I’ll even start writing seriously again. You never know…