Sunday, March 3, 2013

Pride, Insecurity and Trust

You would think that pride & insecurity wouldn't be a trait shared by one person. Alas, it often is.

Insecurity can poison almost any relationship. Everyone is insecure, but sometimes you have to learn to trust someone in order to conquer that insecurity. That’s where pride rears its ugly head and can completely obliterate that fragile trust, giving even more power to our insecurities.

Speaking on a personal level, I have serious trust issues. It seems anytime I put my trust in someone, they betray that trust. It makes me insecure in my own ability to judge a person. It also hurts. My pride kicks in every so often and I get all filled with bravado and push away the people I love the most.

I previously mentioned The Brain, The Heart & The Libido here. I’m sure anyone can tell you The Libido cares not about pride, insecurity or trust. That would definitely be left for The Heart & The Brain to fight it out.

So here’s an example of that conversation:

The Brain: “I was lied to. Over and over. I trusted this person. I was wrong. Why did I trust them? I shall never forgive them for doing this to me. My pride will not allow it. How can I be so stupid? What makes people think I will just keep forgiving each and every time?”

The Heart: “It’s because of love.”

The Brain: “Love is a poor excuse for being treated like a welcome mat. Stop butting in and trying to control things Heart, you only cause problems. Look at the past 5 years. You've wreaked havoc on our life with all your silly feelings.”

The Heart: “It doesn't matter what you think. It only matters what you feel. In the end, you are fighting a losing battle, because we both know I am stronger than you are. It’s been your over-thinking everything that has caused the problems.”

And the fight continues…there is no right or wrong. In the end, it really isn't The Brain or The Heart that has any control…it’s the person who the fight is over. Unfortunately, they have the power to end this battle. One way or another. It’s too bad their own internal battle with pride, insecurities & trust make this a battle that can’t be won by anyone, unless they learn to conquer their own pride & insecurities and take that leap and learn to trust.

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