Monday, March 2, 2009

All Things Toilet

Okay, maybe I shouldn't have titled this "All Things Toilet", because really, there are some places I do not want to go again (

Now that you know we won't be speaking of "the poop incident", you can breathe a sigh of relief (I know you were secretly breathing out of your mouth in anticipation of the imagined smell).
Toilets, strange blog topic you might say...not if you're me. Yesterday was a day filled with the word toilet. Let us begin with toilet paper. Does anyone out there really give toilet paper a lot of thought? Sure, if you run out, it's fore-most on your mind. But normally, who would think about it, right? Uh, me, that's who. I think this is a recent occurrence. Maybe adult-on-set-toilet-paper-OCD. Let me explain.

I was always a Charmin type of girl. No thought there. It was soft, yet sturdy. Great combination. As long as you put it on the holder the right way (tears over the top, not under) then it was all good. Until we moved over a year ago. Apparently, when we upgraded in square footage, we downgraded in plumbing size. I got tired of clogged toilets, so I started my search for the "right" toilet paper.

Scott Soft is not only thick enough, but it also didn't clog my toilets. The only problem is, when my husband goes to the store, it's the small things (like the word "soft") that he over-looks. There fore I end up with plain Scott which is like wiping your arse with a minute amount of rice matter the colossal wad that you have in your hand.

Don't get me wrong, I love that I have a husband who helps out by going to the grocery store, but lets face it folks, when you get older, toilet paper becomes more of a priority. Gone are the days of wild carefree peeing and wiping with a wad of McDonald's napkins from your car, cause you were too drunk to realize you had to go before you left the bar. Not that I ever did this, I just heard stories.

Subject change...on to toilet seats. You would think that the toilet seat and the toilet paper would be related as much as I obsessed over the weekend about both, but alas, they are not even remotely connected. Let's try and make a long story short (I know, I if I could).
My son has spent his own money to redecorate his bathroom. It's all done in hunting/wildlife. We started looking at toilet seats. Since he had spent his own money, we told him we would buy him a new toilet seat. Found the perfect one. Easy, right? Uh, no.

He has an elongated toilet seat (that sounded a bit...uh, bad). Hard to find a the seat he wants in elongated without paying double. I'm sorry, but I have a problem paying $70 for a new seat for a freakin toilet.

So, instead of writing, I spent about six hours looking for this ridiculous (yet cool) elongated fishing lure or deer seat. I'm still looking BTW.

So, that's how my weekend went. I hope everybody else out there was far more productive than I. As for today, I am getting ready to pick my daughter up from the high school amidst a circus of protesters. More on that next time!


Vodka Mom said...

oh shit.

Kate Karyus Quinn said...

LOL to both this post and Vodka Mom's dead-on comment. They both gave me a good laugh!

Mary Duncan said...

Your story reminded me of a line in one of Diana Gabaldon's books about when she said that wiping with lamb's ear (the plant, not the animal!) was just as soft as toilet paper.

I guess I must be tougher than most, 'cause I only use recycled paper products in my house, and that stuff isn't known for it's gentle touch. The price I pay to be green.

Wifey said...

Love it! Your such a cool mom.

Winks & Smiles,

Skeeter said...

Hi Terri,

Ain't it always the case? It's either soft and sturdy .. and out, or its rough, tough and doesn't take shit offa nobody.

Seriously, how do you sit on toilet seat that has pictures of fish hooks on it? I mean really? Conceptually, it doesn't grab ya? In a bad way? No?

Best wishes,


Mrs4444 said...

I like the fishing lure one. But personally, I love the look on Gerard's face as he gazes at the toilet paper :)

Jen said...

Bahahahaha at Mrs4444!

Finding the right toilet paper is a nightmare. Yek. And that's a very interesting toilet seat. Personally, a face on my toilet seat (even a deer's face) would creep me out.

Awesome blog, by the way. :)

E L said...

hahah. Great job. Gotta love the name Vodka Mom.

Anonymous said...

Sweet website, I had not noticed before during my searches!
Carry on the great work!