Sunday, February 24, 2008

Awa' An' Bile Yer Heid

Please don't ask me to pronounce this colorful, yet informative book title!

The good news here is that it is chocked full of some pretty colorful insults. The bad news is out of 178 pages, I'll probably only use a small handful.

That being said, I thought I would share some pretty cool (in my opinion of course) words from the glossary of insulting terms found on page 45 (for those following along).

**Hope I'm not infringing on any copyright laws, if so, it is unintentional!

clag-tail:un-wiped arse (my 12 year old son and his friend like this one the most)




snash:abusive language

sumph:great fool

tumshie:idiot (literally, turnip)

Those are just a few listed, and I am sure I will be referring back to this book for quite some time as I work on revisions, and start on the next few books in the series.

That being said, I have been an absolute slug for three days. I have read 4 books, the afore mentioned insult book being the last.

The first three were a trilogy by Julia London. They, of course, were set in Scotland, although a few decades following my time period. The first two were nominated for a RITA in the historical romance category. As I read them, I found myself wondering just what the RWA looks for while making these nominations.

There was great character development, well defined plot, and sex. Plenty of it! In fact, my husband couldn't believe that I actually COMPLAINED about the amount. I think he thinks that I am some literature-based nympho. If that were the case, I would be reading/writing erotica INSTEAD of what I like to call "serious historical romance" (don't laugh).

I love a book with a good plot, and even some well thought out sub-plots. What I hate is the gratuitous sex that so many writers throw in. I actually start skimming when there are 5-6 page sex scenes, and that speaks volumes when you are as OCD about finishing a book (all of it) as I am. Alright already, I get it, they had hot, sweaty single sex (you remember? the sex we all had BEFORE we got married). It has NOTHING to do with developing the plot, at least after the first time.

So in order to be nominated for a RITA, I wondered, as I read, MUST you have LOTS of explicit sex scenes?

I can't WAIT to see some of the responses to this post!



Mary Duncan said...

Hey Terri,

The title for the Scottish curses book says it all! That there's nothing better than a good ol' F**K! now and then! The sayings that are in that book could be passed as cursing if you're from the Victorian age, but it hardly constitutes anything more than slander in this day in age. However, that being said, some of the sayings are fairly entertaining!

And I agree 100% with you about sex scenes that last for 5 or 6 pages. Is it really necessary? I doubt it. We get the point. Visuals need not be that descriptive.

On a more personal note: I have another agent interested in Sightless! That makes 3! Sooner or later, one of them will say yes.


Skeeter said...

Your nephew has something there, an unwiped arse is one heck on an insult and funny to boot.

I don't know about "gratuitous", but I've read your sex scenes before dear and (forgive me ... but) your sex rocks! You're definitely right - it has to advance the plot otherwise it's an entirely different kind of story.

I'm overseas right now, so could you send me more whenver I get back home? Thanks :-)

Merrymags said...

Hola Terri:

When I read a Romance, I know the book will contain at least two full-on, ween and vajayjay sex scenes -- that's not counting the build up to the consummation, though. That's what I consider the standard.

When it comes to length of pages it takes to get it done, the all time winner, IMHO, is Stephanie Laurens. That girl can come up with the most florid, redundant, said over and over again (get it?) language describing sex that I've ever read. It was, initially, titillating in the first Cynster novel I read, out of order, which was actually book 4, I think. When I realized that there were others to make a series, I picked them up, too. By the time I finished, I was so sick of reading all the words, I actually thought to myself, "There are TOO MANY WORDS!"

Romance differs greatly from Erotica. Romance, while it can be graphic, rarely uses the more *vile* language, dressing up body parts and acts with pretty words. Erotica, on the other hand, uses all the language for which you used to get your mouth washed out with soap. Other than lots of sex, I can't think that the sex takes all that many pages to describe (except for the fact the man (or men) involved are stallions and have the endurance of machines).

TerriRainer said...


ROTLMAO at the "ween and vajayjay scene". Can you imagine reading a book and running across this line:

"Dalton ran his large rough hands up her silky thighs, thinking all the while that his ween longed to be snuggly inside her tight vajayjay."

OMG, that's great! I would laugh so hard I'd have to put the book down, or at the very least, call a few friends to share that line with them...


TerriRainer said...


Could you clarify for's very flattering that you "like my sex" ;), but were you referring to the sex scene in The Crichton Heir, or that little piece of smut that I wrote during class called The Marine?

There was a pretty damn big difference, so I just wanted to clarify.

I'll send you revisions as I do them, BTW.


Merrymags said...


When you put it that way, I sound like a Romance author!!! I had a shiver run down my spine imaging it all.....

"Lady Chelsea's ripe, lush, heaving breasts quivered as Lord Ramin Hardon breeched her warm silky petals and lodged his ween in her moist vajayjay....."

Naw, you wrote it better!


TerriRainer said...


"Lord Ramin Hardon"


OMG, I was so busy laughing at the scene, I had to reread it to catch that! You are AWESOME!

Here's another:

"Lady Mona Lott's hot, moist vajayjay was singing that age old siren's song to Lord Ramin Hardon's ween, a call that he could no longer ignore!"

I snorted...I can't stop laughing!!!


Merrymags said...

Lady Mona Lott........ it sounds Shakespearean!!!

I almost threw up from laughing so hard.


TerriRainer said...


If Lady Mona Lott sounds Shakespearean, then Lord Ramin Hardon must be Freudian!!!

I was goin at a pretty good clip on revisions this morning, but it was near impossible to write following that last exchange!

I kept wanting to come up with some way to use vajayjay, which I will NOT allow myself, although it's tempting in this moment.

Can you imagine an eighteenth century Scot sayin, "Och, I'll be needin' a peak at yer wee vajayjay! Me ween is longin fer some company lass!"



Marisa said...



Ah, you've seriously unleashed my inner 15 year-old boy.

Thanks for the link to that TED talk! I loved it. I'm a huge Allende fan, and I had never seen that before.