How we perceive other’s around us is often by their actions
(or in-actions). Some people have the ability to understand that everyone’s
perception is going to be different. Others are very short-sighted and if they
perceive something one way, there is very little, if any, deviation from that
original perception once made.
A good example is a friend of mine I grew up with. People
who didn't know her well, always perceived her as uppity, a tad on the stuck-up
side. In reality, she was very self-conscious and painfully shy. People
perceived her shyness as her being self-absorbed and/or conceited. They couldn't have been further from actual reality.
Our perception of ourselves is often far different than
those around us. I decided to test the concept of perception vs. reality (mine)
on my Facebook. So I asked this question:
“Okay, quick question and completely honest answer (SERIOUSLY...no
sugar coating). I'm writing a blog on perception vs. reality. I want to use the
answers to show how close or far from my own perception they are. How do you
perceive me?”
Here are the answers, followed by a response from me:
“very honest and straight forward” (True)
“A girl that speaks her mind and doesn't care about what
others think...u r a great person to people that matter a shit to ya...but to
those that don't they can kiss ur ass!!” (LOL,
true)
“I think you're beautiful, sweet and very loving.
Very honest and one who says what you feel.” (I don’t take compliments well, I like them,
just never been very good at receiving them gracefully, but very true on the
second sentence!)
“I perceive you as a easy going, quick thinker and as a long
time friend, an honest person with a fun sense of humor. Someone that takes
life's punches and tries to stay upbeat.” (First
sentence, absolutely, second sentence…I put on a pretty good show, but often
feel the exact opposite inside)
“Ok you're a bitch” (I
love this one, and true, I can be)
“I would say you wear your heart on your sleeve but have a
tongue like a dagger...” (I don’t wear my
heart on my sleeve, I think I just did with him, I forgot to lock it away
momentarily…but then, he also saw that fabulous defensive mechanism I have a
habit of using to keep people away from said sleeve)
“A single mom
that likes men that have accents, and men that don't appreciate how beautiful
you are. You are more open with your sexual side then some are comfortable
with. I wish I was as bold and fearless of people's opinions of me, as I
believe you are.” (I DO like my
accents! And in the past, I have always chosen to give undeserving men my
attention. But I am very open about sex and all that goes with it)
“Funny, not
afraid to speak wats on ur
“I would have to say that you seem to be a person who is
honest with their feelings. You are not easily offended. And...you like hot
guys with kilts on. Although I think you would do quite well just to have
someone who would accept you for who you are” (LOL, yes, hot guys in kilts, no secret there! I do tend to be overly
honest with my feelings, which often makes people uncomfortable & I am
RARELY offended, if ever)
“Flirtatious
& fun.” (This usually isn't bad…)
“Funny and
uninhibited” (I like that someone thinks
I’m funny, because I always think I’m funny! And, yeah, my lack of filter seems
to be a running theme)
“You’re a very
hyper fun loving woman that takes life as it comes.” (I was hyper as a kid…I think I used up all that excess energy back
then! But I do try and take each day as it comes…good or bad)
“the perception
is if i am going by facebook alone since i haven't hung out with u in forever
is u would be a sex obsessed maniac....but of course reality im sure is much
different because besides your obsession with men with foreign accents and
kilts u r my same old long time friend, although kooky, has a wicked sense of
humor that i am sure not everyone can appreciate!!!!!” (“sex obsessed maniac” Well, that’s mostly because I haven’t had a “real”
boyfriend in almost 2 ½ years! I've been taking a bit of “me” time and trying
to figure who I am and what direction I want to take my life…kilts &
accents. Yep, it’s a weakness)
“As strong
stubborn opinionated outspoken fiercely loyal until crossed then all bets are
off ~ a good parent who is proud of how far she has gotten alone, but secretly
despite the front lies insecurity & self doubt that is hidden by sarcasm
which is extremely advanced thanks to over-intelligence. It is sometimes hard
to tell if you genuinely like someone or are just interested in their story...”
(Ohhhhh, this particular person is very
pretty and a tad flighty, so I often make the mistake of forgetting just HOW
intelligent she really is (I've been making that mistake for 30+ years), as for
genuinely liking someone, if I dislike someone, they are usually quite aware of
it!)
“Confidence in
yourself, smart, honest with others. great friend, hard worker and very funny!!” (Hmmm, I am confident about most things,
but I do have my own share of insecurities that I suppose I try and hide with
humor…mostly self-depreciating)
“You like to
come across as a straight bitch so you don't have to let anyone close enough to
hurt you .” (Ouch. Doesn't the truth
often sting?)
“when we first
met i thought you were a jumped up loud mouth american who was full of self
importance (kinda like most americans really), in reality i find you to be a
warm caring person who always puts others first but dont take any shit (except
from me cos i know i can get away with it) and pretty intelligent too (unlike
most other americans)… may i just
add as a foot note
*always seems
to pick the puny guys so she can break them and then act like some kind of
she-ra or wonder woman” (But I AM She-Ra!
Okay, it’s only the Englishmen who seem to be fragile! I do perceive myself as
a tad loud and boisterous at times, and often regret it later. And yes, I do
tend to have certain people that can get away with more than I would ever
tolerate from others. They know who they are.)
“I find you
smart and interesting and eloquent, someone who thinks about stuff and can talk
at length about a great many subjects. I love your sense of humour and
occasional lack of filter. Sometimes you can come across as lacking a little
empathy and a better talker than a listener. You did say no sugar coating
right? But overall I find you fascinating to talk to and someone I'm attracted
to even before I involve the lovely pics and the exotic accent. I suspect I may
be one of your more biased responders as I'd love to get you into bed one day
lol” (Yeah, I just filled out my
paperwork for my passport. Pretty sure that speaks volumes about THIS
particular comment…Charming, honest, he wears a kilt and has a lovely Scottish
accent. I’m a goner here.)
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