Boy I put my foot in it this time! I mentioned my next topic
at the end of Serendipity vs Zemblanity, not giving it much thought. So here I am, late at night
researching emotional sadism and *cough* *sputter* *cough* goodness
gracious! I've read some interesting things, most of what I read wasn't exactly
what I had in mind, but no matter, we shall tread forward and just step a tad
more carefully in the future when picking the next subject.
Let’s start with emotional sadism, and for arguments sake,
let’s just keep this fairly “vanilla”, as in *a tad boring and little, if any,
sexual references (so sue me if I used suggestive pictures…I can, so I did). So
an emotional sadist takes great pleasure, or at least it makes them feel better
about themselves, to inflict emotional pain on others. I was actually surprised
that psychopath/sociopath websites were where I found emotional sadism
mentioned the most. Guess I never thought about it, but it does make sense.
Now, emotional masochism is a tad less
scary, but no less dysfunctional. Okay, maybe a tad less. How many people do
you know who are just gloom and doom types? Seems they’re not happy unless they
are somehow martyring themselves. Their world is always angsty. I think a few
times I've been an emotional masochist by circumstance, but more times by
choice. I continued down paths that I knew the only outcome would be
emotional turmoil and pain. And I skipped happily down that road singing lots
of angsty songs to make it hurt even more. I’m good like that.
So, can we choose to stop these behaviors? I think **emotional
sadism is one of those fairly nasty ones that require professional help
if you want to kick the habit. **Emotional masochism, on the other
hand, can go either way. I think in some instances, serious counseling may
help, in others, just recognizing the behavior is sometimes enough to curb or
even stop it. My Mom has a saying, “You have 5 minutes for your pity party and
then you need to move on”. Yeah, I've heard it more times than I can count…so I
am fully aware of my tendency toward emotional masochism, I also
recognize what (and who) causes it. These days, I prefer to avoid, rather than
indulge (Categorizing Relationships).
So where do you fall? Emotional
Sadist or Emotional Masochist?
*It should be noted your vanilla is anything BUT boring, Mr.
S.
**Not a licensed psychologist, that’s just my own personal opinion.



11 comments:
emotional masochism but not by choice. I seem to have gotten myself involved with a sexual sadist (which I am a consenting partner to) who is also an emotional sadist (didn't sign up for that).
Two years now... I'm miserable, but I keep going back.
Sorry to hear that...it does become a cycle that's hard to break. I wish you luck and hope you find a way to break that cycle and be happy.
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